Have a Heart

This book is very near and dear to me. Please enjoy the read. 🙂

Chapter 1

I sure do love waking up to this man. Look at that skin. That body. He is so much more than I asked for, and I was quite specific in my prayers. But seriously, it is six in the morning! I’m not ready to get up yet. 

“Babe, can’t you just lay down for five more minutes.” And by him laying down, I really mean can I sleep peaceably for another 30 minutes. 

“No, I’ve got to get going, and you need to be right behind me. Plus, you know good and well that five minutes will turn into 30 easily,” he says as he sits up to get out of bed. 

He knows me so well. But since we are kindred spirits I’ve got him pegged too. I look deep into his eyes and pout just enough to seem spoiled, but remind him that my being spoiled is all his fault. He slides back into bed. 

“Ten minutes, then I have to get up,” he whispers from behind me. 

“Great. Fifteen minutes it is.”  

I’m sure he can hear the smile in my voice. As I doze off I hear him quoting Proverbs 31.

“Her husband praises her: There are many virtuous and capable women in the world, but you surpass them all.” 

I sure hope I do… 

***

7:00 am came faster than ever. By the time I’m half awake, he’s dressed and ready to go. I wonder if all men can do that or if that’s just his thing. If he decides to be up and ready by 7:00 am, then he will be. It’s so simple, but I love his decisiveness. Plenty of men can be decisive, but not like my husband. I like to believe that everything about him that fascinates me is something that only he can be capable of. I am completely enamored by this man. I love him. Plain and simple. I love my husband.

“What,” I ask as he interrupts my thoughts.

“Did you enjoy your extra 30 minutes of sleep?”

“Thirty? It felt like five,” I say with a yawn.

“Well, regardless it’s time for you to get up. I put some coffee on for you too. I’m running behind so I’ve got to get going.”

I don’t understand why he looks so panicked. He’s never late. Ever. As I watch him rush around, I sit up in bed and interrupt his flow by reaching out to him.

It’s no lie that it feels like time stands still when he reaches back. I can’t explain the wave of emotion I feel when he stops everything he is doing to grab my hands and kiss me. And when he pulls away looking into my eyes and says he loves me, I feel full. I need nothing more than that to convince me of his love.

With that, I repeat the words, I love you, and steal another kiss before he gathers himself to leave the bedroom. And when he leaves and I hear the door closing, I lean back onto my bed and smile. I’m glad I left that little note in his car, and I promise I can feel his smile right now.

I love you so much. Have a great day today and I hope to see you soon. Thank you for loving me. I love the God in you. And I love that you have put Him in our marriage.

Something in me felt like sneaking him a note for work today when we were riding home from dinner last night. I didn’t want the night to end, so I hoped I could carry it over into today. As I hear the door again, I see it was very much worth it.

He enters the room, laughs and says, “I knew you weren’t up!” Then he grabs me by the hands and kisses me. 

Yep, the note was very well worth it, I think to myself.

As we part he says, “I love you and I have to go for real this time.” And like a kid, I get up and watch him leave.

I laugh to myself on my way to the bathroom thinking about how much work it took for us to get to this point. Marriage is one of my better ideas, but definitely isn’t my easiest one.

No matter how much people tell you, you’ll never know until you’re in the middle of it. It’s two people who have grown to be the person that they had been developing into for some 20-30 years now saying, “OK, let’s learn how to live with another person all over again.”

Marriage is very different from living with family, it’s two people who have learned what they don’t want to compromise about themselves, having to compromise. God truly has to bless a marriage to make it work. This one would definitely be doomed without Him. That’s for sure.

***

Looking in the bathroom mirror he groans as he pops his morning pills.

“Who could rest with all these chest pains? Then I have to wake up to a counter of medicine after it all. The life I’ve always dreamed of…”

I can hear my dad now “medicine is for wimps.” After all my trying to appease him, I guess I’m still a wimp. I even chose a “manly” profession because it seemed so unwimpy. Construction. Hard hats. Nothing wimpy about that.

Yet, here I am. Staring at a counter of wimpy prescription pills for an inherited heart disease. What are the odds?

I officially have hit bottom I think. A profession that I can’t even do because of a bad heart. My doctor has basically forbidden me from any work until a donor comes up. I’ve not given much thought to that. I’ll probably be good and dead by the time I get a donor.

Life with someone else’s heart… I guess the truth is that I couldn’t imagine it, much less anticipate it. Won’t happen anyway. I’ve been waiting over a year, and I know someone has been waiting even longer than me somewhere.

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